When Jake Lightening (Seagal), a Seal captain, takes his men deep into the Guatemalean jungle pursuing child molester and drug trafficing lord, Vince Vermince (Michael Barrymore) he soon finds he is on one of the most dangerous missions of his life.
A freak storm washes all of their kit away and the 3 seals (Lightening, GTX played by Shaun Wright-Phillips and Volumptua played by Jordan) have to rely on their field skills to survive and complete their mission.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Glock: The Persuader
In this exciting mysterious action thriller, Steven Seagal plays Cartier Glock a hitman for hire, if you can find him.
When Honey Penny-Goldhearts, played by Pamela Anderson, lawyer husband is killed, she hires Glock to track down and punish the perpetrators.
Blah blah blah... more than he can chew ... blah blah.... most dangerous.... but the punks dont know what they are dealing with... blah blah blah
When Honey Penny-Goldhearts, played by Pamela Anderson, lawyer husband is killed, she hires Glock to track down and punish the perpetrators.
Blah blah blah... more than he can chew ... blah blah.... most dangerous.... but the punks dont know what they are dealing with... blah blah blah
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Get Involved
Here are three potential films. Please leave comments voting for the one you would like scripted up and leaving any suggestions for characters, plots, actors etc.
1. Covert Desert Strike
2. McStealth: Silent Assasin
3. Shogun of Detroit
1. Covert Desert Strike
2. McStealth: Silent Assasin
3. Shogun of Detroit
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Jesus Christ McNutsBuster
DA: Christ, McNutsbuster, I told you to stay clear of chinatown ... I know they killed your partner and wife but hell you've got to keep it together son
McNutsBuster: Whatever you say chief
DA: Take a break McNutsbuster, take some leave and sort your head out. I don't want to see you until after the anniversary of your wifes death. In fact, you could test these advanced weapons for me while you are on leave. Just stay away from Chinatown and the triad leader Hoo Chin Bassai
McNutsbuster: I cant make promises chief
DA: Your good McNutsbuster, damn good and I don't want to lose you. We need men like you but your also a renegade, an out of control maverick shooting first asking later, drinking and women. Damn it.
McNutsbuster: You are not making sense any more chief.
DA: I know, damn it.
Excerpt from Bring me McNutsbuster due out on Channel Five for May Bank Holiday.
McNutsBuster: Whatever you say chief
DA: Take a break McNutsbuster, take some leave and sort your head out. I don't want to see you until after the anniversary of your wifes death. In fact, you could test these advanced weapons for me while you are on leave. Just stay away from Chinatown and the triad leader Hoo Chin Bassai
McNutsbuster: I cant make promises chief
DA: Your good McNutsbuster, damn good and I don't want to lose you. We need men like you but your also a renegade, an out of control maverick shooting first asking later, drinking and women. Damn it.
McNutsbuster: You are not making sense any more chief.
DA: I know, damn it.
Excerpt from Bring me McNutsbuster due out on Channel Five for May Bank Holiday.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Escape from Death
Plot Synopsis: Detective Red Horrigan, Seagal, must foil a terrorist organisation made up of disgruntled special forces veterans. But this time, he's teamed with a rookie female partner, Peach, Lily Allen, that he's not too excited to be working with.
Peach: Don't they know we are on their side
Horrigan: They don't know good from evil, we have to teach them it..
Peach: How?... they won't listen Horrigan, damn it, even to you, they just won't listen
Horrigan: Don't worry Peaches, they will listen .... to my fists
Straplines:
'Lunatics are on the loose.... one of them is Detective Horrigan'
'35 special forces specialists..... one Detective Horrigan, fair fight?'
Peach: Don't they know we are on their side
Horrigan: They don't know good from evil, we have to teach them it..
Peach: How?... they won't listen Horrigan, damn it, even to you, they just won't listen
Horrigan: Don't worry Peaches, they will listen .... to my fists
Straplines:
'Lunatics are on the loose.... one of them is Detective Horrigan'
'35 special forces specialists..... one Detective Horrigan, fair fight?'
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Silent Deep Sleeper
Due out in the Summer of 2009 comes this evocative action thriller around the sensitive subject of islamic fundamentalist groups and their threat to society.
When several terrorist acts against the United States by an extreme muslim terrorist group Al Alham Allahahalalal Ahhahhammannallal cause widespread panic, the president demands that his security teams get an undercover infiltrator into their highest echelons.
FBI chief Cronie (played by Alaistair Campbell) calls out former Seal and security expert Jaguar Silverfire (Seagal). Once they have him sobered up (He lost his wife in a recent terrorist strike) they brief him on what is set to be his most dangerous mission.
He is to go to the North Western provinces of Pakistan, deep into Taleban held land and infiltrate Al Alham Allahahalalal Ahhahhammannallal as a young freedom fighter hell bent on the destruction of the West. Armed with a smattering of Pashto, a suntan and a kick ass attitude, Silverfire is parachuted deep into enemy territory and is completely alone.
When several terrorist acts against the United States by an extreme muslim terrorist group Al Alham Allahahalalal Ahhahhammannallal cause widespread panic, the president demands that his security teams get an undercover infiltrator into their highest echelons.
FBI chief Cronie (played by Alaistair Campbell) calls out former Seal and security expert Jaguar Silverfire (Seagal). Once they have him sobered up (He lost his wife in a recent terrorist strike) they brief him on what is set to be his most dangerous mission.
He is to go to the North Western provinces of Pakistan, deep into Taleban held land and infiltrate Al Alham Allahahalalal Ahhahhammannallal as a young freedom fighter hell bent on the destruction of the West. Armed with a smattering of Pashto, a suntan and a kick ass attitude, Silverfire is parachuted deep into enemy territory and is completely alone.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Under Siege 3: Blade Strike
Following the internationally acclaimed success of Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (What do the words Dark Territory have to do with the film??), exciting news breaking is that Seagal is to star in the third installment of a sensational trilogy.
The story so far...
Casey Ryback a former seal is best buddies with a warship Captain in the US Navy. The warship is hijacked by a group wanting to steal the nuclear warheads... little do they know the chef is the best of the best of the best of the best, until he kicks their ass.
Some years later, the unfortunate Ryback is caught up in another unlikely sounding potential disaster.. Five million tons of hijacked train. One billion dollars of satellite weaponry. Two American cities targeted for nuclear destruction. Sounds like another job for Ryback and it is not long before he kicks some punk ass.
Now in the third installment, Ryback is working undercover as a janitor on the international space station which has been armed with state of the art laser beam weapons. Russian cosmonaut Kald Karackovian (Ronnies evil dad from Eastenders) arrives with a crack team of KGB agents intent on taking control of the station in order to threaten Brazil into becoming part of a new Russian empire. Little do they know that the janitor on the space station is the best of... etc etc, its time for Ryback to kick ass.
STRAPLINE: Time to put the punks into orbit.
The story so far...
Casey Ryback a former seal is best buddies with a warship Captain in the US Navy. The warship is hijacked by a group wanting to steal the nuclear warheads... little do they know the chef is the best of the best of the best of the best, until he kicks their ass.
Some years later, the unfortunate Ryback is caught up in another unlikely sounding potential disaster.. Five million tons of hijacked train. One billion dollars of satellite weaponry. Two American cities targeted for nuclear destruction. Sounds like another job for Ryback and it is not long before he kicks some punk ass.
Now in the third installment, Ryback is working undercover as a janitor on the international space station which has been armed with state of the art laser beam weapons. Russian cosmonaut Kald Karackovian (Ronnies evil dad from Eastenders) arrives with a crack team of KGB agents intent on taking control of the station in order to threaten Brazil into becoming part of a new Russian empire. Little do they know that the janitor on the space station is the best of... etc etc, its time for Ryback to kick ass.
STRAPLINE: Time to put the punks into orbit.
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