In this springs WHSmiths bargain bin DVD blockbuster, Steven Seagal plays Lt Col Daniel Strikedown, a special forces trainer who also works as a ticket inspector on the East coast mainline.
Trouble starts for Strikedown when some punks intent on drinking and causing disruption board the train and are not responding to polite request. Things escalate though when it turns out that the group are not just a group of drunk punks but actually a terrorist cell and they plan on activating a dirty bomb in New York while travelling on the train.
What they don't know is that their ticket inspector is on to them and plans on taking them down one punch ata time.
Thankfully for Strikedown, he also has his colleagues Princess (Katie Perry) and Slipstream (Rapper Doubleshot) along for the ride.
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Furious Friendly Fire
Steven Seagal plays his first drama role in Furious Friendly Fire, as Stern Winnerman - a retired army officer who has faced the harsh reality of Afghanistan.
Whilst serving his beautiful and courageous country (where a child can get a beer and a gun for a buck o' five); Stern sees his son Oscar (played by Mario Balotelli) killed during a training operation when live ammo is used. Oscar's death is covered up and Stern faces a concrete wall of red tape to find the truth. His wife (Played by Helen Mirren) disagrees with Stern, but is she hiding more than just saddness for the loss of her son?
Furious Friendly Fire features fantastic performances from Freddy Flintoff and that kid from Fast and Furious 5.
Swapping the gritty backstreets for the courtroom, and no-good punks for legally filed documents; Seagal dials up the acting as he fights conspiracy, justice, more conspiracy and a bit more justice.
From the Director of White Chicks, and the producer of Starship Troopers 8 (yes, they made more than one of them).
Coming to a free Netflix download near you in May.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Crossover: Zero Hour
Who do you turn to when there are only hours before humanity is destroyed? Who has the courage, the stealth and the steely look to save planet Earth at zero hour?
These questions and more are answered in Steven Seagals latest straight to DVD classic, Crossover: Zero Hour.
Seagal plays Mitch Shotgun an ex Top Gun pilot, special forces trainer and CIA agent. Retired after his special forces team were killed in an undercover mission in the Bolivian rainforest, Shotgun has been spending his time helping local tough kids deal with their personal issues by helping them form hip hop crews. He has a few problems of his own being a hard drinking, hard smoking and hard gambling son of a shotgun.
His world is turned upside down though when Pixie (played by Katie Perry) contacts him with some astonishing news. Pixie works, implausibly, as a climate scientist as well as topping up her salary as a part time stripper (for no good earthly reason). She has figured out that the petro chemical giant EVIX Corp. has almost pumped enough pollutants into the environment that we are almost at the tipping point, or as her team have dubbed it, Crossover.
Once passed that tipping point, within hours the Earth will become a fiery mess, a hell hole of sulphur, heat, perpetual darkness, an environment in which no intelligent life can survive (scenes shot in Hull).
Evix Corp and their snake-charm chief executive Randle Slither will not have any of it though. Neither will the US government who have branded Pixies team as crackpots.
Shotgun cannot persuade Slither to stop polluting the atmosphere either, even though he and Slither were ex Special Forces buddies until the mysterious circumstances in which Shotguns team were slaughtered in Bolivia.
With Pixie producing a digital wall clock showing a three hour countdown until Crossover, Shotgun is up against it. Slither knows he is coming and has amassed an army of mercenaries to stop him.
What he does not bank on is Shotgun having the support of Flipside, the hip hop crew he helped assemble. With the earth having just hours left, this winter, we are relying on just a handful of brave warriors.
THE GUARDIAN G2: Utter filth. My eyes burned, my soul feels raped, 1 star.
HULL JOURNAL: Even though 23 local jobs were created, this film remains a stain on our existence, although it did catch the atmosphere of the city well.
QUOTES
These questions and more are answered in Steven Seagals latest straight to DVD classic, Crossover: Zero Hour.
Seagal plays Mitch Shotgun an ex Top Gun pilot, special forces trainer and CIA agent. Retired after his special forces team were killed in an undercover mission in the Bolivian rainforest, Shotgun has been spending his time helping local tough kids deal with their personal issues by helping them form hip hop crews. He has a few problems of his own being a hard drinking, hard smoking and hard gambling son of a shotgun.
His world is turned upside down though when Pixie (played by Katie Perry) contacts him with some astonishing news. Pixie works, implausibly, as a climate scientist as well as topping up her salary as a part time stripper (for no good earthly reason). She has figured out that the petro chemical giant EVIX Corp. has almost pumped enough pollutants into the environment that we are almost at the tipping point, or as her team have dubbed it, Crossover.
Once passed that tipping point, within hours the Earth will become a fiery mess, a hell hole of sulphur, heat, perpetual darkness, an environment in which no intelligent life can survive (scenes shot in Hull).
Evix Corp and their snake-charm chief executive Randle Slither will not have any of it though. Neither will the US government who have branded Pixies team as crackpots.
Shotgun cannot persuade Slither to stop polluting the atmosphere either, even though he and Slither were ex Special Forces buddies until the mysterious circumstances in which Shotguns team were slaughtered in Bolivia.
With Pixie producing a digital wall clock showing a three hour countdown until Crossover, Shotgun is up against it. Slither knows he is coming and has amassed an army of mercenaries to stop him.
What he does not bank on is Shotgun having the support of Flipside, the hip hop crew he helped assemble. With the earth having just hours left, this winter, we are relying on just a handful of brave warriors.
THE GUARDIAN G2: Utter filth. My eyes burned, my soul feels raped, 1 star.
HULL JOURNAL: Even though 23 local jobs were created, this film remains a stain on our existence, although it did catch the atmosphere of the city well.
QUOTES
Pixie: Noone will listen to me Shotgun, I am sure my data shows we are nearing Crossover.... the sulphite monochromatic particles Evix are releasing are comining with the Sub-rapidons in the upper atmosphere and there are going to be nuclear consequences.... no one will listen, we have hours to live...
Shotgun: I am listening sweet cheeks
Pixie: but you are the only one
Shotgun: I'll make them all listen one punch at a time
Pixie: Goddam it Shotgun don't endanger yourself
Shotgun: OK Pixie now do your special dance for me
Saturday, May 07, 2011
No Quarter Asked
In No Quarter Asked, Steven Seagal stars as SEAL Captain Blade McLonegan in an all American action thriller.
When Hussain Al Maqtoum Mulgrani Hammad leader of the Red Splinter Islamic fundamentalist terror cell kidnaps the senators daughter, there is only one man to call.
McLonegan is the best, he has always been the best, but he trains the best to be better than the best so he has to be the very best of the best. McLonegan has his own battles, after a messy divorce, his drink problem worsened and his daughter won’t speak to him.
The Senators daughter is believed to be held in a secure compound in the Qaddari Hills, Northern Syria. McLonegan must drop his in crack team, fast talking Bojax (Triple Z from So Solid Crew) and Pettle (Coleen Rooney).
Together they must rescue the Senators daughter and help McLonegan find peace with himself, one punch at a time.
The problem is the pentagon wants McLonegan dead, for no good earthly reason. Even after the Senators daughter has been saved, they have to extract themselves out as McLonegans ex special forces buddy who now sleeps with his former wife is in charge of Operation Thunderclap.
Can the team get to freedom. Will McLonegan find inner peace? Find out in a WH Smith bargain DVD bucket from June 2011.
Excerpts
HAMMAD: Game over (pulls trigger, gun jams)
MCLONEGAN: OK, let’s do this old school (Drops own gun, draws knife)
Reviews
DAILY MAIL: The plot made little sense but most worrying was the CGI fight scenes and factual accuracy. It seems all of this can be sacrificed for a shot of Seagal snapping someones neck while winking at the camera…. 1 star
When Hussain Al Maqtoum Mulgrani Hammad leader of the Red Splinter Islamic fundamentalist terror cell kidnaps the senators daughter, there is only one man to call.
McLonegan is the best, he has always been the best, but he trains the best to be better than the best so he has to be the very best of the best. McLonegan has his own battles, after a messy divorce, his drink problem worsened and his daughter won’t speak to him.
The Senators daughter is believed to be held in a secure compound in the Qaddari Hills, Northern Syria. McLonegan must drop his in crack team, fast talking Bojax (Triple Z from So Solid Crew) and Pettle (Coleen Rooney).
Together they must rescue the Senators daughter and help McLonegan find peace with himself, one punch at a time.
The problem is the pentagon wants McLonegan dead, for no good earthly reason. Even after the Senators daughter has been saved, they have to extract themselves out as McLonegans ex special forces buddy who now sleeps with his former wife is in charge of Operation Thunderclap.
Can the team get to freedom. Will McLonegan find inner peace? Find out in a WH Smith bargain DVD bucket from June 2011.
Excerpts
HAMMAD: Game over (pulls trigger, gun jams)
MCLONEGAN: OK, let’s do this old school (Drops own gun, draws knife)
Reviews
DAILY MAIL: The plot made little sense but most worrying was the CGI fight scenes and factual accuracy. It seems all of this can be sacrificed for a shot of Seagal snapping someones neck while winking at the camera…. 1 star
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Jesus and Me
In Jesus and Me (banned in most Western countries), Steven Seagal plays Zorox Crossbow, a down to earth teacher in Boston in the year 2044. What nobody realises is that Zorox is actually the brother of Jesus Christ.
Unfortunately 2044 is also the breakout of World War III as America finally declares war on Botswana. As every man is drawn into this global struggle against evil, its time for Zorox to kick ass.
Thankfully as well as his laser eyes, Zorox also has his bible buddies, Hotcakes (Stacey Soloman) and JamXX (anyone from Ndubz) along for the ride.
THE GUARDIAN: Truly as bad as it sounds. Appalling, inconceivable.
THE DAILY STAR: Action packed 100% fun
Unfortunately 2044 is also the breakout of World War III as America finally declares war on Botswana. As every man is drawn into this global struggle against evil, its time for Zorox to kick ass.
Thankfully as well as his laser eyes, Zorox also has his bible buddies, Hotcakes (Stacey Soloman) and JamXX (anyone from Ndubz) along for the ride.
THE GUARDIAN: Truly as bad as it sounds. Appalling, inconceivable.
THE DAILY STAR: Action packed 100% fun
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Shock and Awe
In this summers stylish 3D bargain DVD, Steven Seagal teams up with David Hasselhoff in Shock and Awe.
Seagal plays Detective Harrington Shock a New York veteran who has scrimped and saved to gather a nest egg capable of seeing him retire to the keys to work a small honest life as a fisherman. His partner Detective Mitchley Awe (Hasselhoff) is his oldest buddy.
Get set for action though as on Shocks last night of duty, terrorists take over Carnegie Hall and threaten to blow it up with all 2,000 concert goers inside. Having snuck in, Shock and Awe must take take the creeps one by one using their stealth assasination skills they learned in Nam as special forces buddies.
Thankfully they have some help from a couple of concert goers Xjam (Some nutter from N-Dubz) and Babycham (Christine Bleakley).
This summer as the kung fu kicks off, make sure you are on the right side of shock and awe.
Seagal plays Detective Harrington Shock a New York veteran who has scrimped and saved to gather a nest egg capable of seeing him retire to the keys to work a small honest life as a fisherman. His partner Detective Mitchley Awe (Hasselhoff) is his oldest buddy.
Get set for action though as on Shocks last night of duty, terrorists take over Carnegie Hall and threaten to blow it up with all 2,000 concert goers inside. Having snuck in, Shock and Awe must take take the creeps one by one using their stealth assasination skills they learned in Nam as special forces buddies.
Thankfully they have some help from a couple of concert goers Xjam (Some nutter from N-Dubz) and Babycham (Christine Bleakley).
This summer as the kung fu kicks off, make sure you are on the right side of shock and awe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)