In this summers direct to VHS classic, Steven Seagal stars as Lt Col Butch Lazerstrike.
Lazerstrike is a SEAL undercover black ops best of the best stealth operative sleeper cell who has assumed an alternative identity in suburban Tokyo.
When Mr Xu's (played by Michael Barrymore) triad gang try to take over the city and make international news by abducting some senators daughter, Lazerstrike is called into action by the president.
Thankfully he is backed up by his old buddies Hotpants (Lucy Liu) and fast talkin' Flashlight (Black Eye Peas will.i.am) and soon the triads of Tokyo are getting all busted up.
Showing posts with label senators daughter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label senators daughter. Show all posts
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Sandstorm at Murderington
Following the outstanding success of 'Mission to Highschool', Seagals latest blockbuster sees him return to school but this time as renegade substitute teacher, Mr Chad Sandstorm.
Sandstorm is used to teaching science to underprivileged kids but not a lot could prepare him for Class Z4 at Mullington High, in downtown Detroit. The students are set to fail all their exams and are besieged by family problems, drugs, rivalries, guns, gang and fungal feet issues. Its, so bad, the school is known locally as Murderington High.
While most people simply write these kids off as societies outcasts and tomorrows prison fodder, Sandstorm sees potential, mainly because he once was also on the wrong side of the tracks after he served time for tracking down and beating up his ex sargeant (who had left his best buddy to die, in Korea).
Despite a troubled start to teaching the class, Sandstorm soon gets the respect of the kidz when several of them jump him with knives and semi automatic weapons and he uses his martial arts skills to disarm them. Impressed the kids soon start paying attention and want to learn from Sandstorm.
Not all the students are as willing though and Sandstorm has to go through a number of emotional scenes to get to the root of these kids troubles and help them.
Sandstorm decides that he can galvanise the students around an upcoming hip hop and street dancing battle between all of the downtown Detroit schools.
Can he gel the students together and keep them off crack long enough to win the contest? Will the senators daughter be kidnapped randomly? Will his ex Korean sargeant show up unexpectantly?
Find out on Channel 5 at 2.30am this Friday.
Also stars: Chris Brown as Bojam and Paris Hilton as Bubbles
Names of hip hop crew: Bo-Jam Stryke Pop X MC Scratch Touchdown Blast Crips and Bubbles
REVIEW
West Sussex Echo: 'astonishing, the use of light and sound was incredible. I was left contemplating whether the film had escoteric value or whether in itself it was inwardly focussed on being self absorbed. A masterpiece of deception'
Empire: 'Films like this strengthen the case for Seagal to be locked up and legislation to ensure that no more films are made'
FHM: 'The worst bit was definitely Seagal rapping'
LYRICS TO LISTEN UP - WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY SEAGAL
Your lifes on the line on the streetz tonight
Gotta decide run or fight
Yo brothers got your back
Packing a piece under the mack
This is all whack
So stay off the crack
Sandstorm is used to teaching science to underprivileged kids but not a lot could prepare him for Class Z4 at Mullington High, in downtown Detroit. The students are set to fail all their exams and are besieged by family problems, drugs, rivalries, guns, gang and fungal feet issues. Its, so bad, the school is known locally as Murderington High.
While most people simply write these kids off as societies outcasts and tomorrows prison fodder, Sandstorm sees potential, mainly because he once was also on the wrong side of the tracks after he served time for tracking down and beating up his ex sargeant (who had left his best buddy to die, in Korea).
Despite a troubled start to teaching the class, Sandstorm soon gets the respect of the kidz when several of them jump him with knives and semi automatic weapons and he uses his martial arts skills to disarm them. Impressed the kids soon start paying attention and want to learn from Sandstorm.
Not all the students are as willing though and Sandstorm has to go through a number of emotional scenes to get to the root of these kids troubles and help them.
Sandstorm decides that he can galvanise the students around an upcoming hip hop and street dancing battle between all of the downtown Detroit schools.
Can he gel the students together and keep them off crack long enough to win the contest? Will the senators daughter be kidnapped randomly? Will his ex Korean sargeant show up unexpectantly?
Find out on Channel 5 at 2.30am this Friday.
Also stars: Chris Brown as Bojam and Paris Hilton as Bubbles
Names of hip hop crew: Bo-Jam Stryke Pop X MC Scratch Touchdown Blast Crips and Bubbles
REVIEW
West Sussex Echo: 'astonishing, the use of light and sound was incredible. I was left contemplating whether the film had escoteric value or whether in itself it was inwardly focussed on being self absorbed. A masterpiece of deception'
Empire: 'Films like this strengthen the case for Seagal to be locked up and legislation to ensure that no more films are made'
FHM: 'The worst bit was definitely Seagal rapping'
LYRICS TO LISTEN UP - WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY SEAGAL
Your lifes on the line on the streetz tonight
Gotta decide run or fight
Yo brothers got your back
Packing a piece under the mack
This is all whack
So stay off the crack
Monday, June 01, 2009
First auto-generated Seagal Film! THE COLD WARRIOR
The Cold Warrior
In this exciting thriller, Seagal plays Strike McRough a logger from Chicago.
When the senators daughter is kidnapped, he smells something is corrupt and decides to exact his revenge on Tarquin Cage (played by Jean Claude Van Damme) who was his commanding officer in basic training.
What the punks don't know is that Strike was a Japanese master martial arts warrior and trained the best to be better than the best but not as good as himself as he was training the best to be better which makes him better than the best training to be even better but he is definitiely the daddy best.
Thankfully he has CraXX and Chocolate along for the ride played by Mr T and Martine McCutheon respectfully and they ain't going down without a fight.You can watch The Cold Warrior this summer on Betamax.
In this exciting thriller, Seagal plays Strike McRough a logger from Chicago.
When the senators daughter is kidnapped, he smells something is corrupt and decides to exact his revenge on Tarquin Cage (played by Jean Claude Van Damme) who was his commanding officer in basic training.
What the punks don't know is that Strike was a Japanese master martial arts warrior and trained the best to be better than the best but not as good as himself as he was training the best to be better which makes him better than the best training to be even better but he is definitiely the daddy best.
Thankfully he has CraXX and Chocolate along for the ride played by Mr T and Martine McCutheon respectfully and they ain't going down without a fight.You can watch The Cold Warrior this summer on Betamax.
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