Never Made - Steven Seagal

The best Steven Seagal films... never to be made. These Seagal films are my online pitch to him to invite me to write a full script. Seagal will surely like what he reads and maybe one day, one of these blockbusters will come to life. Any 3 words could make a Steven Seagal film title. As long as he is secretly a martial arts expert, has been wronged and has a series of ex special forces buddies, of which ideally one is a bit 'street' and another implausibly 'hot'.

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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Cover of Darkness

In this summers direct to VHS classic, Steven Seagal stars as Lt Col Butch Lazerstrike.

Lazerstrike is a SEAL undercover black ops best of the best stealth operative sleeper cell who has assumed an alternative identity in suburban Tokyo.

When Mr Xu's (played by Michael Barrymore) triad gang try to take over the city and make international news by abducting some senators daughter, Lazerstrike is called into action by the president.

Thankfully he is backed up by his old buddies Hotpants (Lucy Liu) and fast talkin' Flashlight (Black Eye Peas will.i.am) and soon the triads of Tokyo are getting all busted up.