In Jesus and Me (banned in most Western countries), Steven Seagal plays Zorox Crossbow, a down to earth teacher in Boston in the year 2044. What nobody realises is that Zorox is actually the brother of Jesus Christ.
Unfortunately 2044 is also the breakout of World War III as America finally declares war on Botswana. As every man is drawn into this global struggle against evil, its time for Zorox to kick ass.
Thankfully as well as his laser eyes, Zorox also has his bible buddies, Hotcakes (Stacey Soloman) and JamXX (anyone from Ndubz) along for the ride.
THE GUARDIAN: Truly as bad as it sounds. Appalling, inconceivable.
THE DAILY STAR: Action packed 100% fun
