Sunday, November 13, 2011

Crossover: Zero Hour

Who do you turn to when there are only hours before humanity is destroyed? Who has the courage, the stealth and the steely look to save planet Earth at zero hour?

These questions and more are answered in Steven Seagals latest straight to DVD classic, Crossover: Zero Hour.

Seagal plays Mitch Shotgun an ex Top Gun pilot, special forces trainer and CIA agent. Retired after his special forces team were killed in an undercover mission in the Bolivian rainforest, Shotgun has been spending his time helping local tough kids deal with their personal issues by helping them form hip hop crews. He has a few problems of his own being a hard drinking, hard smoking and hard gambling son of a shotgun.

His world is turned upside down though when Pixie (played by Katie Perry) contacts him with some astonishing news. Pixie works, implausibly, as a climate scientist as well as topping up her salary as a part time stripper (for no good earthly reason). She has figured out that the petro chemical giant EVIX Corp. has almost pumped enough pollutants into the environment that we are almost at the tipping point, or as her team have dubbed it, Crossover.

Once passed that tipping point, within hours the Earth will become a fiery mess, a hell hole of sulphur, heat, perpetual darkness, an environment in which no intelligent life can survive (scenes shot in Hull).

Evix Corp and their snake-charm chief executive Randle Slither will not have any of it though. Neither will the US government who have branded Pixies team as crackpots.

Shotgun cannot persuade Slither to stop polluting the atmosphere either, even though he and Slither were ex Special Forces buddies until the mysterious circumstances in which Shotguns team were slaughtered in Bolivia.

With Pixie producing a digital wall clock showing a three hour countdown until Crossover, Shotgun is up against it. Slither knows he is coming and has amassed an army of mercenaries to stop him.

What he does not bank on is Shotgun having the support of Flipside, the hip hop crew he helped assemble. With the earth having just hours left, this winter, we are relying on just a handful of brave warriors.

THE GUARDIAN G2: Utter filth. My eyes burned, my soul feels raped, 1 star.

HULL JOURNAL: Even though 23 local jobs were created, this film remains a stain on our existence, although it did catch the atmosphere of the city well.


Pixie: Noone will listen to me Shotgun, I am sure my data shows we are nearing Crossover.... the sulphite monochromatic particles Evix are releasing are comining with the Sub-rapidons in the upper atmosphere and there are going to be nuclear consequences.... no one will listen, we have hours to live...

Shotgun: I am listening sweet cheeks

Pixie: but you are the only one

Shotgun: I'll make them all listen one punch at a time

Pixie: Goddam it Shotgun don't endanger yourself

Shotgun: OK Pixie now do your special dance for me