Friday, September 07, 2012

All Gunns Blazing

This September, coming to the blue hexagonal bins stuffed with DVDs marked up at £2, which you stumble over entering Blockbusters... comes All Gunns Blazing, a new project written, directed, produce and conceived by legendary action star, Steven Seagal.

As an ex SEAL Captain, Gunn McSteel cuts a surprisingly gentle image.  If you were to shake his hand and stare into his cold eyes, you would see the hardness formed in the lowland swamps of Borneo.  Examine his skin closely and you would see the cracks from days spend in a foxhole blasted by the Sharan sands.  Yet, McSteel is a man who has settled into a new retired life, that of a simple taxi driver, moving passengers from A to B and imparting some Buddhist wisdom to one and all in peace and harmony with the streets of LA.

On one monumental day though, McSteel finds himself thrust back into the hellish maw of danger and he has to unleash his tremendous powers of hand to hand combat.

Picking up a passenger from the docks, it seems a simple ride to Chinatown.  His passenger seems the normal sort, well dressed, polite; but somethign is not right.  After the drop, McSteel realises that the well dressed man overpaid and resolves to track him down from clues he picked up during the ride.

What starts as mysterious, turns into a web of intrigue and eventually, McSteel finds his target in an abandoned warehouse where McSteel witnesses him and his crew murder a senator and kidnap her daughter.  Before he can intervene, the murderers have fled.

McSteel knows that implausibly he needs to sort this out himself and resolves to track down the punks and serve up a steaming slice of justice.

Thankfully he has the assistance of Candy (played by Davina McCall), his kind-hearted taxi company caller and Slipstream (Eminem), a street rapper well known to McSteel.

This Autumn, when it comes to stopping terrorists punks, you know that Seagal will go down All Gunns Blazing.


The Mirror: 1 Star - A truly strange film, the clues McSteel had to work on were proposterous and why was he so intent on returning $3 in the first place?

The Independent: 5 Stars - Haunting and tragic, uplifting, a film that stirs the very soul and asks the most simple and childish of questions... why?

Script Extract:

McSteel: Yo yo Slipstream, whats up with the flow?

Slipstream: Big daddy whac mac brother...

McSteel: I need to know where a man running north on 4th went, he was wearing a grey suit, 5 10 180 pounds...

Slipstream: Say what bro, your the daddy and thanks for saving my little sisters life... He went to Old McKenzies bar and strip joint... but I didn't say anything and I didn't see anything... Be careful if you go near that place... there are rumours

McSteel: What rumours?

Slipstream:  I can't say any more..

McSteel: Catch you on the flipside, stay slippy...