Friday, March 27, 2009

The top ten rules of a Steven Seagal film...

I have to say I was really impressed with the work put into creating the top 5 rules for a Seagal film .... watch the film it is funny....

I have decided to take their original five and add five from my own expertise and observation:

1. You can't kill him (As far as I know he only died on screen once in Executive Decision where he had a minor role)
2. He never reloads ... ever
3. Innocent people will get hurt
4. A baby may get hurt during the film!
5. He never makes love until the credits roll!

OK my five are:

6. He has to have a secret ex military / intelligence / martial arts background
7. He has to partner up with either a hot chick or a street talkin black dude
8. Not only can't you kill him, you cannot hurt him either (can you remember any injury?)
9. There has to be an implausible anti globalisation / environmental message in the film
10. At some point the bad guys have to discover his secret background and look a little stunned typically with the master bad dude saying 'Goddamn it you fools he is the best of the best, I know we send ten guys up there to get him... they will be dead already...'

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