Saturday, October 11, 2014

Best Served Cold

In this seasons must see futuristic crime action thriller, Steven Seagal delights in his portrayal of a brutalistic future where the punks are armed, maniacal and numerous.

Background and Context


Seagal wrote, leads and directs in this complex thriller, resurrecting the character Jonathan Cold from the revered and critically acclaimed films The Foreigner (2003) and The Foreigner: Black Dawn (2003).

In an interview with the Independent, Seagal revealed that the choice to bring back Cold was tough because of the danger of tainting his past work.  "Cold is an established character and people really connected with his depth and complexity - Not wanting to disrupt those energies and memories in people's mindboxes leant me towards ditching the idea entirely but then Zen Master Xi Ju Kendo suggested I ressurect Cold, 120 years in the future and I thought, yeah.... yeah"

For those not familiar with The Foreigner and The Foreigner: Black Dawn, an excerpt of some of the finer moments in the film...

Merideth Van Aitken: Do you have a family?
Jonathon Cold: Yeah, I have a brother.
Merideth Van Aitken: Older or younger?
Jonathon Cold: ...Wiser.

Jonathan Cold: You see, in this business... the keys to the kingdom is weapons-grade plutonium. If you ain't got that, you ain't got shit.

Best Served Cold


Th Year is 2122 and New York City has been reduced to a cess pool of low down dirty punks who peddle crack to kids, set fire to grannies and get up to no good from Broadway to the Bronx.

Terrified and at the edge of his wits, the Mayor, Brian McHonor (Brian Blessed) becomes desperate for a hero to restore some municipal order and put down the Wild Rhino gang that are the dominant force on the streets.  McHonor is approached by a young brilliant but controversial scientist, Professor Honey Brains (Alicia Silverstone) who has used reverse polametric energy fields to create a machine able to replicate humans from single cells.

McHonor and Brains make a complex moral decision that changes the future of the planet.  In the face of overwhelming evil and criminality, they bring back the one man, they think can save the city from hell, Jonathan Cold.

The only issue is that the process or replication is not quite perfect and so Brains fine-tunes the rebuilt Cold with some robotic limbs and computer hardware, wired directly into his brain, giving Cold a heads up display of the world.  When Cold awakes, he is furious.... Angry at being resurrected and even more furious when he finds out that the leader of the Wild Rhinos is the great grandson of the man who killed him in treachery back in the Bolivian rainforests in 2021.

The Major immediately makes Cold his Head of Justice and Judge Jonathan Cold is released onto the hard streets to deliver his justice one punch at a time.  Working his way through the various layers of the Wild Rhinos with their colourful clothes and inexplicable domains, Judge Cold eventually has to face down their lethal leader, Black Dyper (Val Kilmer) in a fight to the death for the sake of Town Hall.

Thankfully, as well as Brains on his team, he has more support in the form of Detective Trippy (Andre 3000 from Outkast in an acting debut) a wise cracking cop with fast wits and faster reactions.

If you have no respect for the law, if you have a mohican in the colours of the rainbow but sport an uzi, if you threaten Colds great great granddaughter; then you better be ready, because this judge believes justice and revenge is Best Served Cold.

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